


Hold me close until I can breathe

by FrogSpawn



Series: Septiplier/Danti One-Shots [20]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Aftercare, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Light Angst, Little Anti, Non-Sexual Age Play, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Non-Sexual Submission, Non-binary character, Panic Attacks, SO MUCH FLUFF, Stressed Anti, caregiver Dark, ddlb, protective dark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:47:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28602423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrogSpawn/pseuds/FrogSpawn
Summary: Anti continued to clutch Dark's shirt as tremors took his body's control by force, merely breathing erratically as he whined, black sludge dripping down his cheeks. Anti continued to mumble and hyperventilate, unable to listen as Dark told him to breathe, and Dark listened with a still heart to the incoherent rhetoric being spouted from Anti's wet mouth. His senses were clogged, as if he was underwater, a stream of screaming thoughts assaulting his mind as he wept into Dark's shirt.
Relationships: Darkiplier/Antisepticeye, Mark Fischbach/Sean McLoughlin
Series: Septiplier/Danti One-Shots [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1426423
Comments: 16
Kudos: 20





	Hold me close until I can breathe

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Living_Fast](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Living_Fast/gifts).



> This is a long overdue request from Living_Fast (over a year and a half ago, I cannot apologise enough for that), for a caregiver Dark and a stressed little Anti. I struggled to get the balance in this one, and whilst I don't think it is balanced yet I'm happy enough with it. Requests are always open unless otherwise stated so please do comment if you get an idea. Thank you and enjoy!
> 
> Also, side note, I wanted to experiment with this one. I have read a non-binary Dark in other fics and, being non-binary myself, absolutely loved them and wanted to write one myself. This is my attempt at that, or first dip into the pool. Dark will use they/them pronouns in this fic, and Anti will refer to them as nini. Nini is a gender neutral term for parent, like mama and dada but with ni for non binary. Just in case anyone was confused. Let me know about your thoughts on it in the comments!
> 
> Geullichi - glitch, korean, used google translate so probably wrong

Dark stared blankly at the wall, knuckles white as they gripped the chipped mug of leftover coffee, resolutely attempting not to let the tittering birdsong that filtered through the window get underneath their skin. The coffee was burnt and bitter as it slid down their throat with an itching discomfort, threatening to scold the dead flesh with the uneven scorching heat the microwave provided. Beams of feeble light filled the bare kitchen, a particular kind of comfort entering alongside it that Dark didn't appreciate so late into the evening; they should have been hidden from the world in a shawl of shadows, shrouded in the darkness of the night. Their scars ached increasingly the longer they were visible, even as the curtains blocked their full figure from the outside view. Shifting their weight from foot to foot, Dark indulged in draining the mug in his hand and regarded the dregs with an impression of a scowl.

Eventually, the feathered choir died down, and once Dark had finished washing up their mug, a serene stillness had taken over the kitchen.

That was, until, Anti came bursting around the corner, a ball of frenetic energy as he regarded Dark with inclement eyes. His cheeks were rose-tinted with irritation and his entire being was trembling, outline glitching and jumping with his chronic movements, similar to a rough animation or the static of a broken monitor. Dark started, head snapping to the other end of the room as Anti lurched into the room, hands going in front of him as he blundered towards Dark. They managed to set the mug on the drying rack in time to crouch and catch the trembling man as he staggered into their body.

"Anti?" was their first response, the buzzing painful against their bare arms. A strangled sob reached them as Anti writhed in the loose grip, manoeuvring to grab onto Dark's shirt and yank himself towards them. The sudden shift in weight left Dark stumbling and they both ended up on the floor, Anti curled up into Dark's chest, firmly anchored there by two indistinct hands.

Dark was stumped, brain grappling to catch up with the fast-paced situation occurring around them. Anti was shaking like a leaf in the wind, eyes closed and breathing irregular and shallow. There was the bra Dark had discarded to their bedroom floor the morning prior looped around his ankle.

They shifted slightly to hold onto Anti with a firm grip and murmur into his dark hair, whispering reassurances sprinkled into nothing in particular. They told Anti about how they weren't having the best of days, and their plans for what they were going to do, and how the Jims wanted his help in getting an interview with a cult leader. As tremors took Anti's bodily control, Dark offered whispered advice that they had recently learnt on how to prevent staining on his white suit, and how to prevent Google from constantly being a sassy pedant.

Anti continued to clutch Dark's shirt as tremors took his body's control by force, merely breathing erratically as he whined, black sludge dripping down his cheeks. Anti continued to mumble and hyperventilate, unable to listen as Dark told him to breathe, and Dark listened with a still heart to the incoherent rhetoric being spouted from Anti's wet mouth. His senses were clogged, as if he was underwater, a stream of screaming thoughts assaulting his mind as he wept into Dark's tank top.

The moon was high in the sky, the room almost completely dark, when Anti began to calm down. His breathing grew more regular as Dark counted with him, the glitching grew less and the seemingly endless stream of black goo had turned into a dribble that smeared across Dark's skin.

"Geullichi, what's upsetting you?"

When Anti didn't reply, they realised with sickening clarity what was happening. Anti had fallen into a panic attack and searched for solace and relief from it in Dark's arms. That led Dark to acting on an instinctual level to comfort him, pressing a soft kiss to his greasy hair.

Swollen eyelids open, and solidly black eyes stared up in apparent confusion up at Dark. When had Dark become so tender? He didn't have long to contemplate how they were holding him tightly to their chest, or how the room spun endlessly around him like a circus attraction, when Dark's commanding voice cut through the anxious fog that overtaken his brain.

"Anti. Take a deep breath, and explain."

Dark entered his vision, swimming in and out of focus in vague monochrome blobs like a lethargic goldfish. Through a constricted throat, Anti struggled to breath in, and then fought to hold in until it came out in a high-pitched whimper, shifting in tone and volume as he burrowed further into Dark's chest. The mist of anxiety and hectic intrusive thoughts grew more oppressive and his chest became heavier as more weight was applied. Almost a knee-jerk reaction, as soon as it rolled in, a lighter and more immersive mist covered the negativity like a blanket, hiding it from sight. Instead of the compulsive energetic movement, Anti became aware of more pressing desires, like being held in his nini's arms, feeling the firm bumpy surface of his blocks or the soft plushness of his blanket.

"Nini," he sobbed softly, more goo oozing being squeezed from his eyes and trailing down to strain his red cheeks like ink on paper.

"Geullichi, Anti, cry all you need. You're going to be taken care of."

Anti whined as one of his hands moved from Dark's shirt to push a thumb into his salivating mouth, choking lightly on his uneven breathes yet still involuntarily suckling on it as his hazy mind keened and sobbed for comfort, the comfort of his blanket and his nini. His mind felt drained and everything was happening far too quickly for him to comprehend in his current headspace. Al he could do was sob in his nini's arms, curled up in the snug coolness of his caregiver.

Dark's mind ran quickly through what Anti was doing at that moment, both schedule wise and current actions. After confirming that he was breathing more evenly and was actively seeking contact, they thought back to all of his projects and tasks. Anti had taken on a few projects with high social status, and a few hits on people close to himself for revenge, but apart from that he hadn't taken on an overwhelming workload, at least not enough to reach this level of stress and anxiety.

"Do you want to go to bed?"

Anti bawled out, mouth now open with his fist clumsily shoved into it, salvia dripping down translucent skin, nodding to the question. That sounded good to Anti, craving a warm hideaway, then maybe the voices and heavy feeling in his stomach would fade, and he could just enjoy the familiarity of his nini's arms.

There was a jolt and he was slightly moved, causing a fresh round of tears to flow from his stinging eyes. Dark grabbed a tea towel from the counter and dampened it, taking it with them as they went upstairs to their bedroom. As soon as they got there, Dark retrieved a pacifier and a red blanket from the cupboard and placed them on the desk, having to do two trips as he supported Anti's lower half with one of their arms. Once they had it set out, Anti was wriggling and squirming out of their arms and crawling onto the king sized bed, cawing at the sight of the blanket, clenching ham fists at the fabric and face planting into the softness. He mawed on the fabric, drooling a bit as he giggled, before beginning to cry again. It gave Dark enough time to take the blanket out from underneath the bed and drape it over Anti, before crawling on beside him and tugging him onto their lap again, rocking his prone body like a baby.

"It'll be okay, geullichi, hm?"

"Nini!" he cried, clinging to Dark again, smushing the blanket in between them with his paci muffling his words, "Nini, I hate bug!"

Despite the concerning nature of the situation and the extremity of Anti's reaction, as he quite rarely goes little without warning and rarely ever when he is feeling stressed, Dark couldn't help but laugh. It was quiet but sincere, enough to distract Anti, who was sobbing into his stained shirt, and force him to stare at Dark, both confusion and delight playing in the light of his moist eyes.

"Nini happy?" he cooed, mind a mess of instincts and emotion as he watched the rare display from his caregiver.

They stroked Anti's cheek tenderly. "Nini is fond of you, and finds you charming. They're just worried about you."

Anti hummed, the words warming his gut like a flame underneath a saucepan, and he regarded nini with soft eyes. His mouth opened uselessly, pacifier falling to duvet as he pressed a sloppy open mouth kiss to their cheek, saliva dripping onto their skin and beard. Tears had slowly dried up and he felt the oppressive fog receding to a tolerable distance. Anti's tongue hung out of his mouth as his mind switched tracks and decided that it wanted a bottle.

Dark was swift in reading Anti's pleading expression and tucking him into bed before exiting the room, their footsteps noisy as they made their way downstairs. The duvet was tucked tightly around Anti and with a whine he began the arduous task of wiggling out of the confines and untucking them clumsily from the mattress. By the time Anti's mild destruction had finished, Dark was closing the door behind themselves and offering Anti a baby bottle of warm milk. Anti was asleep in Dark's lap before he even finished it.

Dark rocked their baby for a few more moments before tucking him in again and wandering downstairs to wash the bottle and make a few phone calls to alleviate Anti's stress.


End file.
